Brave New World
by thecon12
Summary: Episode 5.4 Part One - Bailey's thoughts on Callie and Erica and Part Two - Callie's thoughts and what happens after their date. Callica
1. Chapter 1

**Brave New World**

As children our parents have to tell us to be brave; they explain the ways of the world in the simplest of terms; lace their large hand with our little ones and lead us into the unknown. They tell us stories; fairytales and they never forget to tell us about _that_ character; the one who seems to be lost in the background; just another face in the crowd and yet it's _that_ person who stands strong; it's _that _person who is brave and takes on the evilly wicked monster and although they have to battle for their victory it is always them who comes out on top.

Being a mother myself now, I know what it's like to see that look in your child's eyes when they fall down; their eyes cloud over in desperation and they hold out their arms to signal that they want to be saved; protected. Some parents believe in swooping down on their child and wrapping them up safely…I believe we fall in order to learn, so that next time we're more careful; we'll watch where we're walking and take the safer path. When my son falls down I pick him up; make sure my eyes are meeting his and I tell him to be brave as I place a kiss on his head…now I've protected him in a way only a mother can do; I've taught him to be brave and protect himself in the world.

The year my group of interns arrived I became their mother; they looked to me for the answers and trusted me when I told them to do something. But I can't watch them all the time; there's only so much you can teach them before they want to spread their wings and try and fly on their own.

George O'Malley was one of the only boys in my litter of misfits that year; a mother can try and teach a son the ways to be a good man; she gave give him the tools but she can't give him all the skills to use them…there are some things that a boy has to try on his own in order to become a capable man.

Like I said my group of interns were misfits, and no matter how hard we try to get them to stay focused on their jobs…sometimes life creeps its way in and you can't help but face the world. I try my hardest not to listen to gossip; the less I know about their personal lives the better…but I knew George had feelings for Meredith Grey; despite her totally inappropriate and complicated relationship with Derek Shepherd…and well let's just say that that mess brought me my proper introduction to the orthopaedics resident, Dr Torres.

O'Malley fell down some steps during an argument with Grey and dislocated his shoulder and Callie just happened to be the woman to fix it. Apparently Dr Torres gave George her number and told him to call her but that idiot was to stuck in his mess with Grey…anyway eventually George started seeing Callie and my other interns started to work with her on some of her cases.

I didn't know much about their relationship; other than the Chief told me that Torres lived in the hospital basement for awhile. The only times I got to hear about what was going on was when I overheard my interns talking; again I don't eavesdrop but I hear a lot of stuff and it seemed my interns didn't like Dr Torres very much; especially Stevens…looking back now it makes sense; the bigger picture always does.

Denny Duquette brought Erica Hahn to Seattle Grace Hospital for the first time; Izzie had fallen in love with Denny and in a desperate attempt to make him higher on the transplant list, had cut his LVAD wires and well…that left him needing a heart transplant right away, and since Burke had been shot Hahn was the woman to do the job. She preformed a great surgery; her technique was flawless; unfortunately the recovery time after a surgery is just as important and Denny had a clot that killed him shortly after the operation.

Stevens was devastated and Torres was being shunned by O'Malley because his best friend needed him. Torres is a strong woman and she knew that she didn't deserve to be second best all the time; a stupid one night stand with our man-whore Mark Sloan and George's inability to let Callie know how much she meant to him damaged their relationship and I thought that was bad…I'm rarely wrong but I admit I was this time; George's dad got cancer and spent a large amount of time here at SG; of course being a child and seeing a parent sick, we want to be brave; but it's hard when something horrible like illness happens; it's new and we have no idea how we should react.

Denial at his father's death somehow led to Callie Torres arriving at work as newlywed Callie O'Malley…now I don't know whose idea the wedding was; maybe they really were in love, and maybe Callie hadn't realised how broken George was; but the one thing I did know was that marriage is supposed to be forever and you have to be certain if you're going to do it; certain that you can make it work.

I don't know why it happened and I don't know where but I was just as surprised as my residents when Callie announced that Stevens had been sleeping with O'Malley. Suddenly Torres struggling with being chief resident and having her flip out at the patient's boyfriend didn't seem so weird…George had been broken by his father's death and failing his intern exam and although I'm sure that he didn't mean to…he broke Callie in return, and that was one thing that even I couldn't have taught him to avoid.

When Erica Hahn became the new attending for cardio at Seattle Grace I didn't overly spend a lot of time with her; I knew of her and her skills as a surgeon and I knew she had a problem with Yang; but that was it. I guess the first time I ever thought of her as a cold woman was when she operated on my son Tuck; at the time her actions to me seemed inhuman and I couldn't comprehend them at all, and I damn well made sure she knew how I felt about her.

Soon I got to see glimpses of her as a normal person though; she'd somehow became friends with the damaged Dr Torres and for some strange reason they got on well enough to hang out at work and outside of it to (that's if Yang's bitching was anything to go by).

At first I didn't really pay them much attention; they were friends; nothing unusual about that…until Addison came back and suddenly Torres was not only sleeping with Sloan again but acting weird. Looking back on the day of cement boy and Callie's weird 'really big trauma' mumbled speech, I think it might have had something to do with a certain blonde doctor…that and well the whole Torres freaking out over freezing a patient only to be calmed down by Hahn; who not only acted warm and caring but told Torres "there's nothing wrong with new" – Talk about subliminal messages.

Interns, residents…there all ignorant babies who think they know best; well I'm chief resident and the Chief's right they will go where I tell them to. I see Torres leaning against the nurses' station, and well I need to rant and she's the only one around to listen, "They have the nerve to be indignant about how they're not allowed to be on their specialties anymore…they don't have specialties!" I glance at her before returning to my chart; she looks zoned out, "They should be grateful they're even allowed in the- are you listening to me?"

Her brown eyes are glimmering with uncertainty as she turns towards me; glancing around quickly, "I'm going on a date with Erica Hahn…" wait a minute; what? "And erm that's awkward because erm…she's a colleague, and because she's an attending and because she's a _she_," a nervous sigh escapes her lips and she glances at me, "And erm," the sound of her clicking her pen anxiously awakens by brain and I finally hear what she's saying; I think I just need awhile longer to process it, "There's been kissing but erm no touching…" she's looking me in the eyes now; like I'm supposed to have all the answers and I can see how the clogs of her mind must be working on overdrive as she continues to babble on, "And what if I'm not into it…what if I'm horrible at all that…stuff…south of the border," the last word breathes from her lips as a whisper and I feel like I've been hit forcefully by what she's trying to tell me, "Because I've never been south of the border…with a female…I mean I've never even been over the northern mountains; if you know what I'm saying," she lets out a nervous laugh and when she notices I haven't said anything she raises her clip board up to her chest as if it could defend her from anything I might say in response, "We're going to pretend this didn't happen."

I don't move for a few moments after she's walked away; damn the people in this hospital and their need to over share their lives; their problems. It normally wouldn't be a problem for me except I like Callie Torres…I may have had issues when the Chief picked her over me for chief resident but everything was made right from that mess…and I know we're not what I'd call friends but I genuinely care about her; the woman's had a rough year and she deserves some happiness or something…I hate being the ears and eyes of this hospital.

Torres' little sharing session with me this morning has clouded my mind…I feel like I should have said something…It would be easier if I knew how long this thing between her and- Well speak of the devil here comes Hahn now…I really should get on with this chart- Oh this should be interesting.

I don't know why I watch; maybe it's because I'm naturally curious or maybe it's because I really do want to know what the hell is happening between them. Hahn's typing away on one of the computer's when I notice her eyes finding something in the distance; whatever it is that's holding her gaze is making her look like she's spell bound. I let my eyes travel to the elevator and settle on Callie entering it beside an old man; she's chattering away unaware and when I look back at Hahn she's…smiling?! Hell this just got weirder…the ice cold cardio queen is standing there smiling to herself as she watches Torres, and not just watching like people watching…but really watching her like she's the only person around…damn Hahn looks almost like a love sick teen-

"What?" Her stern tone pierces through me and makes me jump a little; blue eyes are staring at me fiercely and I flick my own gaze down to my chart; hoping she'll think I've just been staring into space and not watching her and Torres like a damn show.

We have to be brave to try something new; and with being brave comes newness; the world suddenly seems bigger; more open; an endless space of unknown just waiting to be experienced. I watched Torres is surgery that afternoon and studying the way her eyes flickered up to the gallery every so often and then back to her patient filled with disappointment I know what I have to do…Can't a mother bear get a break every once and awhile.

I peer through the window and see Torres scrubbing out and luckily she's alone. Taking a deep breath to steady myself for what I'm about to do, I push open the door and let myself into the scrub room; her chocolate eyes flicking up to see me.

"I don't talk about sex..."

"Please…" she returns her gaze back to staring straight ahead; only looking at me through a quick sideways glance as she continues, "Let's just pretend I never said even a single word."

"I don't talk about sex with anyone ever…" I keep my voice steady and point my finger warningly at her; she needs to know this is the last time I'm getting involved in these messy conversations, "Not any kind of sex."

Torres hit off the water; squares her shoulder's a little and turns towards me, "Bailey I am begging you-"

"Shh…" I cut her off; lifting my hand to my mouth gesturing for her to shut up and hear me out; the uncertainty from this morning firmly back in her eyes, "The va-jay-jay is undiscovered country…" I try and keep my tone light and watch as her eyes dip to the floor; her hand pulling away her protective mask, "It is the motherland…" she looks back at me and feeling more at ease I take another step into the room towards her, "You've never travelled there; you don't know its customs and ways…" she's glancing uncomfortably around the room and I feel the urge to slap her; if she thinks she's alone in being uncomfortable with our current conversation then she's wrong, "Now me, I've always wanted to go to _Africa,_" I really hope to hell she gets what I'm trying to say here because there aint no way I'm repeating this; ever, "Erm but if I go I'm going to have to learn a few things first…I'm going to have to prepare…I'll need shots…erm bring my own syringes in case something goes wrong…and I'll want to know how to get to the embassy just-"

"Okay, okay now you've lost me."

I let out a sigh in almost amusement; I really am going to have to spell this out for her; I give her a small smile and take another step towards her; her eyes holding mine, "Just talk about it…" I see her mouth begin to open and hell no- "Not with me…with the other one…talk about the rules erm the expectations, figure out how to gracefully demur if you find you don't like…eee…" I so should have thought this through a little bit more; I am Miranda Bailey and I don't talk about sex and this is why, "Local cuisine…in Ethiopia they eat stew off of spongy sour bread…that's not for everyone," I give her a shrug and a smile and I think she gets what I'm trying to say, and if she doesn't…well hell she'll have to figure it out on her own; no way I'm saying anymore on the subject…I gave her the advice to be brave; now she just needs to decide if she's willing to take the leap into that new world.


	2. Chapter 2

The day me and Cristina move into our new apartment I'm happy and excited; this apartment will be a fresh start for us both; It'll be completely new; no memories or tricky history other that what we'll create.

Cristina had asked Meredith to help her move all of her crap and well I might have been living out of a few boxes scattered around our old apartment's living room but I had plenty more from where they came from and asking Erica to help me seemed perfect; she had the day off too and that didn't happen too often, so sharing time together outside of the hospital whether it included moving homes is precious.

Meredith and Cristina are shooting me looks and I know they're unimpressed with Erica's presence. I give them a look of my own that warns them not to say anything and when they huddle together and whisper I know they're talking about my choice in friends…god knows what they'd say if they knew.

"Not bad right?" I ask Erica as we head from my bedroom and out into the kitchen/living room.

"It's great," I feel her hand press against my back; her fingertips running lightly down it as she slides her hand; it startles me how such a simple touch makes me feel her everywhere; my skin tingles and I roll my neck and pull away from her slightly, hoping she doesn't feel the shiver my body gives out as response to her touch. I keep my focus on one of boxes and slowly start unpacking the things; grateful that she's doing the same and not calling me out on whatever just happened, "Do you want to go on a date with me?"

Her voice reaches my ears and I turn to face her; she looks a mix of nervous, shy and confident all at once and I can't help but repeat it to her in case I heard her wrong, "Like a date _date_?"

"Yeah you know, a restaurant, candle light, a bottle of wine…at the end of the night I try to take your clothes off," she's giving me the smile I know she only uses around me and normally it would comfort me to no end; but the twinkle in her blue eyes and her suggestive comment is making my heart beat a little faster; this is the second time Erica Hahn has spoken words meaning 'naked' and 'me' in the same sentence and the nervous flutter in my stomach always lingers long after the moment has passed.

"Oh okay," I let out a nervous laugh as my brain stumbles over her words; pulling myself together I manage a smile, "That would be a date," I'm pretty sure the date will be great; she's amazing but thinking about me, her and sex seems to be my minds favourite new thought and I know I'm going to freak out and mess this up if I don't do something or talk to someone soon.

The next day at work to make my freak-out worse Erica casually mentions that she's already chosen an outfit…now I don't know about most woman but when I plan out an outfit in advance it's normally because I want to look sexy as hell and if I want to look sexy as hell on a date it's normally because I'm more excited to get to the part that comes after the actual date…My brain is permanently stuck on flashing images of me, Erica and a very sweaty naked activity that should be amazing but in my mind always ends up awfully bad…

I'm a blabber mouth and I know it…and Bailey is well; the central hub of Seattle Grace; she knows all without giving away that she does and she never adds her own drama to the pile. So when she starts chattering on about something to do with her residents and specialties I can't help but spill all my deepest, darkest fears with her…and lets face it; the woman has no idea about me and Erica and so when she stares at me blankly but with a mixture of shock and curiosity in her eyes I know that I've overstepped some invisible boundary; mentally smacking myself I hurry away and pray that she doesn't bring it up ever…but she's Bailey so I'm pretty sure she won't.

When Bailey appears in the scrub room later that afternoon I can't help but wander what she wants; one look in her eyes lets me know she's going to bring up what I said to her earlier and I hold my breath as I wait…yep I was right she brings up sex and then using metaphors that I think I understand but may have to go over a few times to make sure she gives me advice; actual advice about sex…now coming from anyone else I wouldn't think anything of it but hearing those words from Bailey I feel like I've been given answers not advice…I know talking to Erica is the best thing to do, after all we're friends and sharing stuff with her used to be easy enough…it's just that sharing thoughts about fears of sex with someone is harder to get across when that person is your best friend as well.

I exhale deeply as I walk to the table; thankful that I took a cab here; my nerves are completely shot as what I'm about to do starts to take its toll; settling into my seat I decide to go with Bailey's advice and talk to Erica about what I'm feeling, but if I'm going to do this it needs to be now, "We need to have rules..."

"What-" I can tell she's baffled but I can't stop; it needs to come out now or I'll never work up the courage to say it to her.

"Rules...We...we need rules...about how we're going to deal with the motherland...because it's undiscovered country and...Maybe, maybe it'll be the best vacation either of us has ever had but...it's mysterious...and dark...and there should be rules..." I reach forward and grab my glass of water; my mouth feels like a desert; but before I can take a sip I hear Bailey's voice bounce around my head, "Ooo and an embassy...and a safe word," yeah that was good; I said it…now it's out there in the open and I can take a minute, have a sip of water and-

"I'm sorry, what the hell are you talking about?" Dammit! I thought she would get this…I mean she's a cardio surgeon for crying out loud…her blue eyes are flickering with confusion and I know I'm going to have to spell it out for her even more clearly.

"Below the..." I catch sight of a man walking past our table and drop my voice leaning across the table closer to her, "Below the Mason-Dixon Line...of your pants..." okay now she's looking at me like I'm crazy; great job Torres…now she thinks you're not only an insecure mess but a crazed mess too. I sigh and lower my hands; my defence weakening, "I'm not sure I'm ready to go there..." I feel like I should say more but my mind's chosen this exact moment to go blank…thanks for nothing!

Erica's eyes widen as she finally gets what I'm talking about and she shakes her head; a small smile creeping onto her face at the absurdity of our conversation, "Me neither...I...erm..." she glances down at the table and I know she's searching her own brain for the right words to discuss this without really saying it, "There's lots of undiscovered territory above the belt...erm...we can take it slow...maybe...just...first base?"

Two things happen to me in that moment; one I feel relief rushing through my body and two I can't help but think how adorable Erica is as she stumbles over letting me know that she wants to kiss me again, "Okay...woo...okay; thank you...sorry," I flash her a smile and let out an amused sigh as I watch her sip at her wine; her eyes glimmering playfully.

"Finish my wine..." she offers it to me and I don't hesitate to except it; after what I just did I need a drink, "I'm going to look at the menu for a minute while your blood pressure drops back down to normal."

I down the rest of my wine and look up to see her focused on the menu. Is it possible that I've been on my first date with Erica Hahn for ten minutes now and it isn't until this moment that I look at her and notice just how beautiful she looks; her hairs done in those perfect soft curls; and the black dress she has on has a gorgeous neckline. Not only does she look gorgeous but she didn't freak out; she didn't do a George and stutter at me; she simply took a breath thought about what I said and used her amazingness to calm me down…she's so patient with me, with this thing between us; there's no pressure…it's just me and her and how we decide to move forward together; for the first time in my life I'm working side by side with someone in a relationship and they're pulling their fair share of the weight, "Erica..." her eyes immediately find mine and she waits for me to pull myself together; my eyes dropping to the table for just a second before I let her know exactly how I feel and what I want, "Maybe second base too."

She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back; we might be awkward and we might have no idea what we're doing but at least we're trying something new; we're brave enough to talk about it and work together in this world of uncertainty.

The rest of our date passes like a dream; we settle into our comfortable zone of endless talking and laughing; the only way I know this is different from the other times we've had dinner together is the way her eyes hold mine for longer than normal; she's looking at me like I'm all she can see and it makes my stomach flutter; I hope she knows she's all I can see to.

When we leave the restaurant Erica pays the bill; silencing me with a smile and an eyebrow raise; daring me to start an argument about money; when I shake my head and shoot her a smile; the words, "I'm paying next time," tumbling from my lips I know our date was a success and worth that awkward moment at the start.

As we exit the building Erica pulls on her jacket and then takes mine from my arms and holds it out for me to slip my arms into; I grin at her like an idiot once I'm wrapped up in its warmness and we walk together in silence as we head to her car; enjoying the simplicity of just simply being together. The back of our hands brush a handful of times as we walk but I think I must be exhausted from the bravery I've already used tonight because no matter how much I will myself to take her hand in mine I can't.

After a few more minutes I feel something linking around my pinky finger; I glance down and smile to myself as I see Erica's own little finger linked around my own. Glancing up at her I can see a smile tugging at her lips but her eyes stay straight ahead; my guess is she's nervous I'll pull away at our own publicly open version of hand holding…screw it; if we're going to hold hands we're damn well going to do it properly; I use my little finger to tighten my grip around hers and tug at her hand; sliding my fingers between hers; entwining them. I chance a look at her and when I do she's looking down at our linked hands; her eyes coming up to meet mine; a goofy smile on her face…yep I was right she's adorable.

When we get to her car she opens the door for me and I shake my head and smile at her; she's being the perfect date and every simple gesture she does makes me giddier than a school girl going to see their favourite boy band in concert. We drive in silence all the way back to my apartment; sneaking not so secret glances at each other and I don't even mind that she knows that I'm looking at her.

When we get to my apartment she pulls her car into a space and insists on walking me to my door; I tell her she doesn't have to but I'm glad when she doesn't give in and walks me anyway. We stop when we reach my door and she gives me a timid smile, "Thank you, for coming tonight…I had a really good time."

I smile shyly back and fidget with my keys, "Me too; thank you for asking me."

"You're welcome, maybe we could do it again…soon?" she's biting her lip and I know she's anxious; she rarely bites her lip at work because she knows what she's doing but right here, now, in this moment she's just as scared as me.

I flash her a big smile and nod my head; our eyes holding, "Yeah I'd like that."

She smiles back at me for a second until the doors to the elevator ping open and a man steps out and heads into his apartment…whatever moment we were just in has suddenly been whipped away and Erica looks lost and flustered, "I guess I should get going…it's late."

I swallow the lump in my throat and fight the urge to pull her into my arms, "Okay…"

I notice her blue eyes dropping down from my eyes and lingering on my mouth for a second before she looks back at me; clearing her own throat. She rocks back on her heels a couple of times and I hold my breath waiting for her to lean in and kiss me… "Goodnight Cal," her heel rocking leads her away from me instead as she takes a couple of steps towards the elevator.

"Erica?"

"Yeah?" She turns back around to face me so quickly that I worry she might have given herself whiplash.

Her eyes are on mine and she's waiting for me to speak again, I think about saying nothing but when I see her biting her lip again I know what I need to say; giving her a smile I let the words out, "Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?"

Erica lets out an amused sigh and smiles shyly; stepping back towards me and taking the hand I hold out to her, "I wasn't sure if you'd want to…I mean I think I freaked you out by saying you know that I wanted to see you-"

"Erica…I want to," I reassure her quickly; and tug her hand pulling her closer until she's standing in front of me.

She gives me a warm smile as our eyes meet and the only thing I'm aware of is the calm sound of our breathing; the smell of her perfume and the feeling of my heart pounding against my chest. This time it's different to the kiss in the elevator and it's different to the kiss I planted on her outside the hospital…this time we both lean in; our noses sliding against each other as Erica brushes her bottom lip lightly against mine getting me to tilt my head up slightly and then she brings our mouths together properly; our lips sliding together delicately as we kiss slowly.

Kissing Erica is so different to what I'm used to; her lips are so soft and the feel of them pressing against my own makes me sigh in contentment; I've been waiting to kiss her again since that night and it was worth every damn second. I let my hand move out from Erica's and up to her shoulder; resting it there briefly before trailing my fingertips up the soft skin of her neck. I feel Erica's arms move to grip my waist pulling us closer together.

The feel of her body pressed against mine; the heat I feel radiating from her is enough to freeze out any worries I might have about us or sex…I trail my tongue along Erica's lush bottom lip; tasting her berry lip-gloss and getting her to open her mouth; her fingers gripping at my waist tighter. When our tongues touch and come together she lets out a low murmuring against my mouth and I can't help but let my hand tangle into her silky blonde locks; my free hand moving to grasp her hip.

I shiver as I feel her fingertips running up my sides; tracing over the exposed skin at the top of my back before sliding back down and using her nails to trace patterns against the small of my back; making me moan into her mouth. Our hands roam everywhere and I realise that going second base with Erica Hahn tonight was definitely the right choice…pulling away breathlessly, she rests her forehead against mine. When I open my eyes; her beautiful blues are staring back at me and we can't help smiling shyly. Erica slowly slips out from my arms and smiles at me in this way that makes me melt; out hands lace together and she takes a few steps backwards; our hands letting go when neither of us can reach anymore.

"Night Cal."

I tilt my head to the side and smile at her; knowing I must look goofy and lovesick…But to be honest I couldn't care less in this moment, "Night."

I watch her walk to the elevator and it opens instantly when she pushes the button; she walks inside; turning to face me and as the doors begin to close I call out her name, "Erica!"

She's got good reflexes because she moves an arm between the doors to stop them shutting and I see her eyes widen in worry as I hurry towards her. She opens her mouth to speak but I quiet her by cupping her face in my hands and pulling her lips against my own kissing her passionately; letting her know that I'm okay with this, with us.

When we pull apart our eyes meet and I smile at her coyly, "You didn't freak me out…If anything tonight made things clearer," her whole face lights up at my words and she gives me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen; stepping back I smile again, "I can't wait to go on our second date Erica," I manage to catch her sexy smirk as she disappears behind the closing doors…

Tonight I went on my first date with Erica Hahn and it was something new; I was brave enough to tell her how I was feeling and I got to experience something that had previously be unknown to me in the world…but it was pretty damn amazing and I know I can look back on tonight without regret and think 'Callie Torres; welcome to a brave new world.'


End file.
